I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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