The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
