? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
