whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
