Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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