Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize