...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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