I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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