In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
