Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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