and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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