I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
