I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
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for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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