Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
