Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours