hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
