You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
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Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?