first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get