she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
