she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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