Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
