She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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