I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
MIDGETS
????
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
