we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
