fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
