i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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