We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
