i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day