i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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