My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
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if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies