Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work