Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
