dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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