fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I want a musical about memes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
