I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
