Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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