Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
