I met the friendliest cop last night
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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