I heard we made out
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
