imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
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He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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