Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
