i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
