you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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