She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize