was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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