So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
false alarm, still single
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
