My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
