the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
