That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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