just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
