clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
