Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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