Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
