Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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