It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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