I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
