I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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