Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
