This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
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yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My breasts were aching with rage.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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