I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you made out with another girl for some wings
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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