you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis