in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...