I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
