I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF