I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic