So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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