idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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