yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
