remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
