Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize