just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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