people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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