Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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