so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
