Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
